


If Only

by mateo (orphan_account)



Category: Kuroko no Basuke | Kuroko's Basketball
Genre: FUCK, M/M, fUCK ME, fucking this ship, lame title, niji-centric, nijiaka - Freeform, sad sad why do i do this to myself
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-17
Updated: 2013-12-17
Packaged: 2018-01-04 23:22:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 704
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1086889
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/mateo
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Everything comes crashing down around me, everything but you.</p>
            </blockquote>





	If Only

**Author's Note:**

  * For [kurobas crack twitter](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=kurobas+crack+twitter).



Sometimes, he forgets what he was doing and drops whatever he had in his hands. Actually, he stops caring about whatever he was doing. He stands there, his eyes wide open, glazed over, as if he was far away, so far away.

And in some ways, he is.

His life was not terrible, but it was hard, and there was so many responsibilities that fell on him. His father was sick, and his mother unemployed, and with his two other siblings still in elementary school, he had to support the family somehow. Hospital bills weren’t cheap as well, and at the rate his father’s condition was deteriorating, he had to do something, to make sure that his mother’s duties was lightened significantly.

He decided to resign from being basketball captain, even though he was so reluctant. So, so reluctant. He did not have to do that, he did not have to give up whatever that he earned so rightfully because Fate decided that his dad had to be hospitalised.

No, that was not right, it was not his father’s fault, he should not blame him. It was just something he could not prevent even if he wanted to.

Still, he felt guilty because the small voice at the back of his head, buried under all those regrets will whisper softly, weaving poison into his heart, that if only, if only his dad was not sick, then he did not have to deal with all this things.

He was not even an adult. At the age of 15, he had to drop whatever that he loved and instead, got a part-time job at a convenience store. He laughed bitterly at the thought.

Teikou was not a kind school. That was expected, seeing how victory in the basketball team seemed to be a given. The news that he was working part-time spreaded quickly on the grape-vine, and only the fear of what he had done to Haizaki kept them away. But he knew, he knew so clearly that they do talk, especially when he was not around.

Before he knew it, he ended up meeting up with his junior, his heir, his vice-captain. Akashi listened, he listened to him intently, so intently that he decided to let him in, to let him know his frustrations. And Akashi understood, somehow, of his duties, his responsibilities, and he knew clearly that Akashi would understand, but now, thinking about it, his problems did not seem so bad, compared to the red-haired boy’s.

Then again, the hetero-chromatic boy would not call it “problems”, more of his responsibilities. Heir to the Akashi Corporations, his father’s inheritance, the basketball team captain. He was expected to be first, to have perfect grades, perfect behaviour, perfection. He was awfully good with dealing with the press, he was good at everything, not just good, but _perfect_.

There was not any other words to describe Akashi Seijuurou, except for the word “ _perfect_ ”, really.

Often, he found Akashi in his arms, curled up against him as he once again spent the night at the Akashi household. Akashi’s father was rarely home, and the young boy was usually the one who managed the help in the mansion of theirs. They reported to him mostly, and they did not really care about whoever the young master brought home, much less his very own basketball captain.

They spent nights nestled against each other, Shuuzou attempting to forget all about his own problems for the night, while Akashi listened to him rant, tracing faint circles into his left wrist.

They kissed sometimes, but it never moved on from that.

They both knew too clearly that they could not possibly be together, but still, they spent their remaining days together, in Akashi’s quiet room, before Shuuzou moved onto high school.

* * *

 

He picked up the teacup slowly, bringing it up to his lips to have a sip. Nijimura sat in the seat opposite his, leaning back against the backrest, with a small paperback in his hands.

“...Nijimura-san?” The red-haired boy murmured, putting down his cup. The black-haired male looked up from his book, raising an eyebrow.

“Yeah, Akashi?”

“... It’s such a pity that you’re a guy.” _I like you._

“... Really now.” _I know._

**Author's Note:**

> insert deg deg face lol i'm @rakuzanemperor on twitter follow me yeee


End file.
